Is a porn addiction the same as a sex addiction?
Both terms porn addiction and sex addiction are controversial and dismissed by some as myth. Not everyone who looks at porn is going to become a sex addict. However, the idea that looking at porn is simply harmless fun is quickly losing credence. Compulsive sexual behavior is on the rise and can be just as destructive in a person’s life as an alcohol or drug addiction.
The overwhelming majority of self-identifying sex addicts—about 90 percent—are male. Women are more often categorized as “love addicts,” with a compulsive tendency to fall into dependent relationships and form unrealistic bonds with partners. However, very slowly women are starting to seek treatment for their own porn addictions. As shameful and difficult as it is for a man to admit he has a porn problem, it’s even more shameful for a woman.
A person with a “porn problem” might be classified as someone whose porn consumption is not congruent with his value system and the amount is more frequent than he is comfortable with. A person with a “porn addiction” may find that he can no longer control the amount or frequency of his porn consumption. He would like to quit looking at it, but he can’t. While a “sex addict” not only looks at porn but engages in other behaviors such as anonymous hookups, chat rooms, affairs, public displays of exhibitionism such as strip clubs, and compulsive masturbation.
The constant and easy exposure to porn in our media saturated culture is likely to trigger people who are susceptible to these addictive tendencies. And who is susceptible? For some, porn or sex is a form of self-medication, a way to obliterate anxiety and despair and a means of soothing loneliness and the fear of being unwanted. A sex addiction isn’t really about “sex”. It’s about “being wanted.” It masks feelings of not being worthy of love and acceptance. Sex is the perfect counter to those feelings. It makes a person feel, “I matter. Right, now in this moment I am loved.”
Porn consumption becomes a distraction from stress, boredom, loneliness, anxiety, and a myriad of other uncomfortable emotions. Sometimes it’s difficult to face the challenges of life and being a human being can be hard – Porn numbs the pain. Porn is easy to access and easy to justify. It really isn’t hurting anyone, right?
We can't talk about the P-word without talking about the m-word. Yes, your loved is undoubtedly masturbating while looking at porn. The two go together. It is often the masturbation habit that becomes compulsive. Pornography is the vehicle. While some view masturbation as a perfectly normal behavior, men with porn problems admit that this ability to pleasure oneself is isolating and creates barriers to intimacy with one's partner.
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