What causes a person to become addicted to porn?

Some people can be exposed to porn, look at it for a while to satisfy their curiosity and decide it’s not for them. They can let it go realizing it might not be the healthiest pastime. I actually heard a man say that he thought porn was boring. While others become obsessed with it. They develop an appetite for it; they find it to be pleasurable, to be a great escape from stress, boredom or other uncomfortable emotions. They become compulsive about the release it gives them and can’t walk away from it even when they want to.

Some experts who specialize in working with addictions believe that unresolved family trauma is at the root of many people’s addictions. All families and individuals encounter trauma at some point in their lives. The way we handle it often determines how it will affect our lives and our family's life for years to come. When an individual or family does not deal with the trauma, will not talk about it or acknowledge it so that they might heal from it, they are more likely to develop addictions.

Not all people who experience unresolved trauma will develop addictions, but any unresolved trauma can prevent a person from enjoying life fully and from relating intimately with others. The less unresolved trauma in our lives, the more likely we will develop healthy relationships, happy homes, and joyful, fulfilling lives.

Trauma can be understood as a severe psychological stress, injury, loss, or wound. Put more simply, it's any experience that injures our ability to be open, honest and vulnerable. Family trauma can include loss of relationships through separation, divorce, death, addictions, major medical conditions or illnesses, absent parents, deprivation or neglect, or emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.

Addictions result from family trauma and addictions create family trauma. The addict is preoccupied, gets lost in fantasy, and invests significant time in harmful behaviors. The addiction becomes the focus of his/her life. Children and spouses learn that their loved one’s addiction is more important than they are. They are enshrouded in feelings of shame and experience a constant gnawing that they are not worthy of love or connection – fertile ground for their own addictions.