Am I Part of the Problem?

Am I part of the problem by the way I dress?  Do I contribute to a guy’s temptation to look at porn?

It’s very common for women to want to take responsibility for men’s failings.  We like to do this because it gives us power and makes us feel like we can do something and take power and control over our circumstances instead of being victims.  It’s not necessarily our responsibility to pander to men’s sexual feelings.  Every person is attracted to, and sexually aroused by different things so there’s no way to please everyone. For example, some men might be turned on by the color red. Does that mean you shouldn’t wear red? Of course not. Maybe another guy finds denim insanely sexually arousing, but that doesn’t mean you can’t wear jeans anymore.  What is important, is that YOU feel comfortable with your body and how you dress.  It is not your job to cater to men’s weaknesses, it IS your job, however, to decide what treating your body as a temple means to you and honor the modern day prophets’ words about modesty.

Having said that, yes, wearing less clothing and acting in a way that promotes YOU as a sexual object makes it easier for men and women to treat each other like sexual objects and that may or may not include looking at pornography.  Our bodies are attractive to each other and God has intended for this arousal to occur.  However, our sexual intentions, when not accompanied by a marriage or committed relationship, promotes us seeing and treating each other as sexual objects.  

Our intentions with our bodies is what makes the difference.  You can only control your own intentions and your own body.  God can help us with our bodies and our intentions, but we can’t change the intentions of others.  We can encourage them to seek the help of God and we can discourage others from seeing and treating us like sexual objects, but beyond that is beyond our means.